disappear

Another day being Insomia..
Mayb too full........
Feel wana be disappear.......
wat can make me disappear?commit suicide?
Of course not.......Change myself again???not....
just feel wana escape...but i cant escape....
I WANA ESCAPE.....I WANA ESCAPE....
Hu can help me?????

~~~dreaming~~~

"Welcome back"

The husband gave the wife a kiss...

"U must be very tired rite?" meanwhile d wife wiped husband's sweat....

"Ya....wat do u cook today?"

"Today i cook something special, i create some different dishes"

"Sound delicious, let's have a try. Em...not bad, but this a little bit salty......this a little bit sour....."

This scene happened when a husband back home from his part time job-as a postman....

After d dinner, they watched movie together.....d husband embracing d wife, both of them sitting at sofa...after dat,walking at d beach....den they go bed to sleep...

D wife was a , avtime when d customer have a happy smiling face after they cut their hair, she will feel happy.....

D life of both husband n wife is so simple......

This is wat i dreaming for when i got nothing to do n sit at d icy cool freezy room....Thinkin of d life without any pressure, tension.....a veli simple n hapiness life. Find d right person, earning little, spending little. B ppl's yellow face women, say yes to her husband whatever her husband told her...Won't ask for more...fashion, nice food, entertainment....

Haha..this is just wat i dreaming for......But can i b ppl's yellow face women ar? washing clothes avday, clean d house avday...Ppl say wat listen wat...wont chase for trend, nice food and entertainment........If i can do this, how nice my life would be.....

Last time tot to be a nun.......No friendship, relationship, family, academic, career, economy, physical problem....But i'm a ordinary gal, chinese called ''fan ren''....i cant let go those relationship.....cant get rid of these problem....

<>

GaLs

Em…..recently wondering y my ex classmates being so pretty, atleast got “women smell”

And I, still d same….simple ordinary gal.

After my observation, I found dat…

1) they buy lotion

2) they buy branded facial washing set

3) they buy make up stuff

4) they buy branded clothes n shoes

5) they buy keratase for hair.

6) They go to gym

Ppl oways say there are no ugly women, just lazy women

However I would say, “There are no ugly women, just lazy or poor women”

If a gal avday apply lotion, take care for her hair, waste time on her face doing mask or wat ever….will she look ugly????

An rm10 shirt n an rm100 shirt…there is much different…

Y ppl go to buy branded shirt??? bcos it is branded, v got confident on it, wearing on our body sure is nice n pretty. D cutting is nicer n more stylist..

Tat’s y brand become more n more important nowadays…

Just Imagine a gal wearing rm10 shirt n another gal wearing rm100 shirt in front of u….

Which one will look prettier?????(assume they got same figure)

Ok….let’s us talk about y gal want to become pretty…

D major reason is because society is realistic…they treat pretty gals nicer

Av ppl oso hope ppl treat them nicer rite? So they work hard to become pretty….

Pretty……avgal chasing for it but not avgal succeed

Few gals are born pretty…but there are many gals aren’t born pretty…..

Wat can those gals do? They buy beautiful clothes, catching trends, make up, do facial, go gym n blah blah blah….trying hard to make herself pretty

And…there are gals dat not pretty n poor….so…?

They cant become pretty….One of the reason is because they don’t have d ability to become pretty….

Guys like to look for pretty gals…but sooner or later, they will find dat they cant afford for pretty gals….only if he is a rich guy…

N guys oways complaining their gf wasting so much money on clothing stuff…Just imagine, ur gf avday wearing d same clothes, will u bored? will u feel dat she is attractive? If I wear d same clothes (or same style of clothes) avday, I would feel dat I wearing uniform ….

N guys oways complain gals are realistic…..Just imagine, if u were a gal, would u find a guy dat cant afford u? This simple theory guys sure noe wat, but they just cant accept they are unaffordable for gals only…….oways complaining gals are realistic….

i'm back

haha....i back again lar.....
almost two months time....
Always feel seems many things can happen in a month, a week or even a day...
So no need i mention, this two months sure happened many things on me la....
But wat makes me most happy de...is last nite..
last nite being insomia....late at midnite...wat can i do?
online?being scared of virus lately......
So.....i call somebody....when i take up my phone...
Who should i call?University's friend?one in singapore, one being gathering with others university friend, one oredi sleep, one in genting, one in sabah, one....not so suitable. Secondary's friend?one in australia, one in england, one in taiwan, one oredi sleep, one this time call to her house will scold by her parent...so onli left primary school friend.....(too few of friends can find...so poor....my social skill should be improved!!!!!!!)
Y feel so happy ler?
cos as ppl grow up, v found dat v oredi lost something rite???
d feeling treat towards ppl oredi changes.........
Em..but last nite, i feel dat i found back tat feeling.......there is really a real real real real friend there.d friendship between us haven change...i can feel d sincere, d happy, d pure heart.....
Not mean dat my secondary school friend or university school friend not sincere, not pure...just dat....not so ''original'' feeling.....my english is but...duno how to describe it....
Few days b4, think of dat friend, feel d distance between us veli far.cos oredi months din contact each other....but after last nite, dat feeling had gone.just i lack of ''security feel'', long time din contact den feel dat d distance is veli far.......
It is common rite.....lack of ''security feel''....oways feel dat relationship is not a secure thing. Dat's y i now declare to u guys, i dun dare to start a relationship....
Haha..being fragile oredi.......a fragile "vase" (although i not pretty, but duno wat noun suitable to be put beside fragile..) hope to be protect by something but scare of in d end something will make a deep wound towards d vase.....so better d vase keep herself nicely better den find something to protect her rite????make sense?
But women is ''changible''.....atleast i'm one of them...i duno when i will change my opinion towards dat or meet ppl dat will change my opinion......ppl said women is make from water....
but how about guy?being hurt but dun cry it out,justlet stomach digest it?come on, guy oso fragile rite...just pretend to be not fragile at d outside....i think there r more wu liao den gals lo...atleast gal cry until tired den go to sleep, tomolo wake up nothing at all.guys???haha..duno how guy reheal their wound.but definitely not cry until tired den go to sleep rite?i guess theywill find ''substantial'' reason to comfort themselves shouldn't be sad.....wu liao....
Err..dun wan keep on talkin this...or guys dat r reading will beat me.....
My life now.....full of pretending, pretending, pretending...
I know wat is happening but stil pretend i'm duno.....cos if not pretend duno, wat should i react?
Duno how to settle....duno wat's d best way....just let it past....
Seems like veli corward....but brave must be paid rite??????

sunday

Finally not need go to school, holiday started...
But need to go to work, industrial training started...
Within two weeks, 3 of my friend show their bf to me....
Of course happy cos finally noe hu's my friend bf....
However, on the other hand, i jealous it veli much...
Avtime c my friends together with their bf, it reminds me last time i oso got one...
Duno izit i myself stubborn or a better one haven appear in front of me,
i still will cry in d late nite when i alone in d room, although he seems have another gal oredi
Remember last time both of us said will intro new partner to each other when v break,
But reality is reality, ''kind lie'' not mean wont hurt....
Sometime not like pretending happy, but sad in front of ppl does it help?
They will end up with fed up comforting u...
I may live outside, but whole body r hurted......
Tot dat can give up, but totally opposite n being more coward...
Afraid of getting hurt, getting lose, getting lost...i cant bear with it anymore...
Avtime just sit there envy my friend got ppl sayang, concern
but never think of starting a new relationship again..

wu liao ar

Yeah, saturday last sub lar.....holiday coming soon!!!!!
but for me, not happy at all...
Cos got industrial training, duno wat i will be doing
Mayb just a normal OL, but i dun like lo....
I wish to have other work!!!!sitting in office, damn sien ler.....
D thing can make me not so upset is...haha...d job got allowance
Although not much, but still can make me alive lar...
Finding ppl to go out, some said having stpm, some said goin to work,
In d end, only left me.......But nvm lar, gona to get used d day without anyone accompany rite?
Akon -lonely.....veli suitable to me now......
Cannot bcos of lonely den simply find a wrong ppl accompany me rite?
I oso wont let myself to do dat.........i rather single den simply accept somebody.......

halo~~~

wow wow, long time i have been abandon my blog.........
Time pass quickly....my sem is nearly end.
I feel like cant digest many things.....
cant digest knowledge and everything happened in this 3 months......
For me, it is really a great great great impact
Not only abandon my blog, even my study.......
As my friend said, v seems force to grow...
Many thing happened in once........
End up with little story:
Gal: Eat more la...i like u to be fatter
Guy: Dun wan la, be fatter liao u dun wan me.......And i think u should eat less.....
Gal: Saying me fat?i dun think i fat wo.....
After they break
The gal is getting thinner and and the guy is getting fatter.
Life like that????